Friday, January 06, 2012

Sad news about little Mohawk

It turns out that the open fontinel wasn't the real problem with Mohawk (so named because all the hair on his head was pushed to the center when he was born and it gave him a cute little mohawk).  The reason that the onset of symptoms was so sudden was due to hydroencephalitis.  The fluid on the brain pushed everything up and out, making the open fontinel more apparent and putting pressure on the brain. 

The first vet we went to today was the cranial specialist and she really worked through the whole process to find if there was something either physically or energetically that could be done to help the little guy, but no matter how we approached it, the door to wellness remained closed.  I have to extend my sincerest heartfelt thanks to a vet who seems not only very adept at her main skill/profession, but also with kineseology which really aided us in our appointment today.  I came away with answers that I didn't have when I went in that really helped me make a decision in the puppy's best interest. 

So on the way home, I called one of my primary vets and asked them for an appt.  He's the one who explained the hydroencephalitis to me and why his condition was going to deteriorate from here forward in more technical terms and he fully concurred with the decision that the best thing was to not let him suffer.  Again, my heartfelt thanks for a solid voice of no doubt as to the best course of action to take which helped me in my moments of "am I really doing the right thing?"

And if you have dry eyes up to here and want to keep them, proceed with caution.  Some of you know I have become somewhat proficient with animal communication.  It's not as though I'm good enough that I hear constant chatter, but when there is something important or of substance to say, or if I'm in the right frame of mind and pose a question, I can most often receive a communication from the animals. 

Now there are a couple of things to mention first.  Up till now, I had no real eye contact with Mohawk.  After his eyes opened, when he was at the age to start really processing what he was seeing and start to make eye contact is the same time that the hydroencephalitis kicked in and affected his eyes/vision.  So he had a hard time really seeing/registering things around him.  The other thing that is important to the story is that last night, I brought up the macaw to see the pups.  He sat on my shoulder, and I leaned over, bracing myself on the edge of the whelping pen with my elbows and above the pups, sang them rock-a-bye baby (surprisingly on-key!).  As I softly sang to them, the macaw rocked back and forth on my shoulder to the beat and it was a sweet moment for all as the pups settled down for their next nap. 

Ok, so fast forward to our time sitting in the office, waiting for our appointment.  Although logic said it was the right thing to do, I wanted to try to make contact with Mohawk himself to see what he thought about all this.  He layed in my arms and I lifted him up to me and he gave me puppy kisses as he lightly pawed at my chin.  I asked him if he felt like he could have possibly accomplished what he wanted to in his short life here on earth.  To my surprise, he both made eye contact with me for the first time, and he gave me some images that I'll do my best to translate.  According to him, he has spent so much time on the other side, and there is so much love there, that he wanted just a short time incarnated to remember what love felt like when living in the physical world.  It's so pure over there, and he wanted to be sure that he could feel it here before committing to a longer lifespan.  In this short time, he felt very loved and very wanted.  He felt strong love from Isabelle, his mother.  He felt a warm and companionable love from his littermates and the rest of the pack.  He felt loved and wanted by the humans, and believe it or not, all you people out there who have looked at his picture online and have sent him loving thoughts, he has felt you, too!  He showed me that your thoughts of love, adoration, and support are like tendrils of positive energy that float from you to him, and he felt those and was bouyed by them, and so his existence, although all too fleeting, was a positive time with good results.  He even joked about going back to the other side and telling them that if they wanted some good feelings, to be incarnated as a pug. 

So I put aside my feelings of stress, of doubt, of concern, and mustered up the most pure feelings of love that I could, given the situation, and surrounded him with all the love that was possible, so that he could carry with him these feelings to the other side.  The vet administered a sedative, and left him with me to fall asleep.  As he snuggled back down into my arms, he asked me to sing rock-a-bye baby to him again.  With a not-so-on-key and crackling voice, I sang him his song as he gently fell to sleep. 

So thank you, my sweet little one, for sharing this time with me and for sharing your beautiful insights with me and with all of us.  I wish you all the love in the world on your journey.


A Day in the Life of Pugs said...

Just breaks my heart ... but it was the right thing to do! Pug Hugs, Ellen

Cindie said...

Well, I should have heeded your warning, because the tears are streaming! But I am sure that as sad as you were, it was with a pure love he moved back to the other side.

Caroline said...

Oh. Just ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. xxxxxxx

orriemiphs said...

Ohhh tears that flow in the honor of love. I surround you, Mohawk and the rest of the pugs with all the love that I possess.

The Old Grey Mare said...

Oh Jayne, my heart hurts for you. But how fortunate that you are able to communicate and give Mohawk exactly what he needed. You are a lovely spirit with a kind and generous heart and he could not have chosen a more loving home to be born into... Hugs

judy said...

So very sorry to hear of this, my sweet and special friend... It is the most heartbreaking decision, isn't it... But he let you know that it was the right one. I know what it is like to deal with a severely ill or injured animal that is so dearly loved and cherished and it just tears you up. My deepest sympathy, tears and love to you. Sending lots of hugs...